Monday, January 23, 2012

Lurching along from crisis to crisis

Toots attended school on Tuesday and Wednesday. She told us that she spent all day Tuesday drawing (remember, she's in 11th grade), because "they didn't have all the information on me yet." Wednesday, she got off the bus, went into the residence, and told a staff member that she had a good day. Within a few minutes, that had been downgraded to "it was all right, I guess." Within a few more minutes, she was weeping to the social worker that people picked on her and she wasn't going back. SW, of course, attempted to encourage her. Toots wasn't saying what she was picked on about.

Thursday,she made good on her promise. She wouldn't get up and go to school. And, at the size she is now, you CAN'T get her up if she doesn't want to. During the morning, the SW and other staff attempted to talk to her in the living room. According to SW, Toots took the blind cord, fashioned it into a noose, and laid it on top of her head. I wasn't there to see it, but by her speech and behavior she "appeared to be reacting to internal stimuli". Translated, she appeared to be hearing voices again. The decision was made, with our consent, to take her back to the hospital for evaluation. Apparently, before they left the house, she made another noose out of another cord.

By the time I met Toots, the SW and the house nurse at the hospital, Toots was crying and saying she didn't mean it, she was just fooling around, she didn't need to be there, she just wanted to go back to the house. She said she would go to school if she could go to "Tech" (the well-respected vocational high school program, which she was scheduled to attend this past fall.)

Problem is, she has a long history of hurting herself, more or less seriously, when told to do so by the voices. The hallucinations have been under control with lithium for years, but who's to know if that has changed, or what she would do to herself?

Other problem is, maybe she could go to Tech, but it can't be arranged overnight. Also, it would only be for half of the school day. Also, her behavior there would have to be close to perfect, and the last time she was in school, last June, it was nowhere near.

So she spent the weekend in the hospital and is still there today. I visited her yesterday, bringing her shampoo, conditioner, magazines, and body wash. As she so often does, she complained that she was getting frustrated and mad about "other people's drama". Does she fantasize a world in which no one other than her experienced any "drama", or any rights to express emotions, either? Oh, Toots, you're destined for perpetual disappointment if that's what you wish.

So the school issue remains unresolved. We have hoped and prayed that she would at least complete high school, with either a diploma or other credential that's available to her. It looks less and less likely.

1 comment:

  1. Drama is the VERY first thing Bug complains about too. The other girls are always full of drama, never realizing that she is the queen of drama.